WARNING: Sense of humor needed before you proceed to read
The Year of the Water Dragon is such an auspicious year. That’s because the “rich” culture and tradition of the Chinese believes that the dragon is a mighty creature filled with strength and power. Each year, many predictions and fortune has been told regarding each and every one of the 12 Chinese Zodiacs. We are fortunate to have Master TuZi with us today to tell of the fate awaiting our bunnies as our docile little hopper withdraw itself to give way to the mighty dragon.
1st Date of Birth: 08/08/0008
Birthplace: Mount Polygammy
Dynasty: Bun Dynasty
Genealogy: Master TuZi was born unto a Bun Dynasty’s mighty warrior the general Mighty Thunderbolt Shotgun and his 967th concubine. Rumour has it that it was not known if Master TuZi was indeed the warrior’s true offspring because there weren’t any tattoo identification and pedigrees does not exists back then.
Master: TuZi was trained by the renown Feng Shui and Fortune Teller mistress extraordinaire (self proclaimed) – Her Uncontested Simply Doo Da
Special Abilities: Master TuZi was born with both eyes opened and the kingdom believes that he has been bestowed with the gift of FORESIGHT. Everybun in the kingdom witnessed how his EXPOSED brain grow exponentially with the ventilation and fresh mountain dew mist of Mount Polygammy. Master TuZi does not live long, normally breath his last after each year’s prediction. Master TuZi has the ability to reincarnate himself every year before the Chinese New Year to give new predictions and fortune telling. He occasionally misses the New Year because he is the descendant of the Holland Lop breed and sometimes, they just don’t breed! That makes it hard for Master TuZi to reincarnate himself in time for this yearly predictions. Based on past records, Master TuZi only appears and live for the one day, the 1st Day of the Chinese New Year.
Favorite Drink: The Timothy Tea
Favorite Food: The Timothy Tea Leaf
Motto: “I Predicted It First!”
Merely making in time for this year’s 1st Day of Chinese New Year, here is what Master TuZi has got to predict and foretell…
Cleaning On The First 1st Day Of Chinese New Year 2012
Based on popular beliefs, it is consider bad luck to clean the house on the 1st day because that means cleaning away all the “luck”. It is a double edge sword decision when it comes to cleaning the bunny quarters this year because either way, unwanted incidents will happen. Clean out your rabbit pan will mean having bad luck for the rest of the year. But if you think having maggots on your bunny butt and snorts out from your nostrils is cool, then forget about cleaning those dirty pans!
Love and Relationship
“I see RED, I see RAGE, I see SADNESS”
The relationship between bunnies and humans remain a strange one. I Predicted It First that some of you buns will be abandoned. Remember that article about those poor bunnies in Singapore? That was my prediction but since I can’t be reincarnated in time, I was not there to give much comments! But yes, I TOLD YA SO!
Trust me when I say that there will be no love in this world. It is all LUST! Producers will continue producing and all you sterile will remain so, sadly. There is nothing I can help you here – nothing to eat or drink will bring those little swimmers back I tell ya! If you are lucky, you will be kept in tact else, just say bye bye to your jewels. You will be happy being Bun Monks in the monastery.
Lives on the Show Tables
I see a balance in this area. Most Show Qualities will be given a good life. What I cannot predict is if it would be good for Pets and Broods to go for plastic surgeries. It will be a good show year for those under the care of reputable breeders and those into it for the betterment of the breeds. I see many of you winning every weekend just like the previous years bringing the “FOOK” to your “FOOKING” breeders.
*COUGH! COUGH!* (I think my time is near, I have been predicting too much)
The Digital Bunnies
ArggGHHHhHhhhh we’re going extinct!!!!
As we see the possibility of the SOPA being passed, all online resources will be wiped out including this blog and all humans will be too dumb to raise rabbits! The reason for the shut down of this weblog is intellectual property infringement. See my self portrait up there? That “FOOK YOU” was an idea taken from Ms. Jo Lee!
Note from the EDITOR: FOOK means happiness in Chinese. Master TuZi is a fictional Max Factor kit. I am sorry to pronounce Master TuZi dead as at 1.10pm Malaysia time (GMT +8). May his soul rest in peace, brain intact and eyes shut. Maybe we will have him again next year if he reincarnates in time.